Part 2
Both the male sex drive and the hormones called
Testosterone that fueled sex drive is driving my life out of control. I
did not like the physical effects of testosterone such as facial hair, body hair
but also the mental effects of male hormones also bothered me. I had
learned in high school biology class about the function of testicles and
ovaries. If I could somehow remove or shut down those testicles as if I
still a kid who do not have to worry about getting married, have children,
paying child support and other stuff associated with it, so the only solution
is to cut them off.
My sex drive in my teen years is consider pretty
high whereby I masturbated three to four times a day and after masturbation, I
feel I have another surf of energy to do it again. I felt the first trace of
libido when I was 13 and I never had nocturnal emission maybe because I
masturbated so much. Then at the age of 15, I started to hate my testicles and
the male hormones in my body. I started inflicting pain to my testicles but
somehow that pain turns into pleasure. I then discovered eunuch.org by accident
while browsing the internet and I started experimenting more and more on
testicles torture. That when my fantasy to be castrated comes in. As I already
unhappy with my testicles and the male hormones, the only way is get rid of it
from my body was to permanently remove it. I had used rubber band; started with
one band then increase it to two, three and so on until the testicles turn
purple black. Other times I would think about slicing them off at home and then
check myself into the emergency department while sometime I would beat it
really hard with hair comb, slipper, anything I could get my hands on. The
most extreme one would be I tried to electrocute my testicles but learnt
in my science class that means I would then electrocute myself too and
therefore I tried it with a 9V battery which did not work. I would then
fantasied that those testicles were not there and would then masturbated till I
orgasm. The orgasm were intense and after orgasm, my desire to lose my
testicles subsided and I back to square one. In other words, I have no will to
castrate myself. Hence I always fantasied being forcefully castrated by another
person.
Chemical Composition of Testosterone. Source google image |
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