After my university, I date a girl called Evelyn, whom also
from the same country as I am. I have knew her for at least seven years and we
were a happy couple. Even at one stage, I thought yeah I will get married and
established a family with her and leave my desire to be castrated behind and
lead a happy family life. At that stage my parents and grandparents were
pressuring me to get married and I have intention of proposing to her after our
holiday to New Zealand. But sadly after our holiday, my plan were ruined and
everything changed as she found a job she really wanted and rejected my
proposal as she wanted to focus on her career and she have no intention of
getting married and have children. We had arguments and separated after that, I
went into depression mode and at that moment the thoughts and will of castration
become very strong at that point onwards and I started to look for a way to
inflict injury to my testicles even more including home
castration such as burdizzo and alcohol injections. Bought the burdizzo
and a couple of injection needle along with a bottle of 75.5% Bacardi 151
with the thoughts of permanently destroyed my testicles. As I was
holding the needle in my hand, somehow deep down in my mind, something is
telling me not to do it and my hand start to tremble and my
heart pound faster and faster. Took two shot of the 151 and to calm
myself down. Then slowly I put the needle into my testicles and inject my
testicles with 10cc of 151. That hurts for sure but not as painful as
before. Once the left one is done, I proceed to the right one and it hurt
even more. That the first time I did the injections and to the extreme
torturing my testicles. For the next few days my testicles were
hurting constantly as if I been kick repeatedly in the testicles similar pain
that I had before but more tolerable by the fourth day. As for the burdizzo, I
have not used it since I bought it. I also not had any more injections or
extreme testicles torture after that because I found meditations and going
to church somehow helped me focus on other things like career and money.
However the thoughts of castration and getting rid of testosterone in my body
still linger and haunts me every day.
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Needle used for the injection. Image source from Google |
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Burdizzo. Image source from Google |
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