Part 7

As years passed my, even though I had been in relationships with both guy and woman, the thoughts of castration were still there and most of my relationships did not end well. With the most recent one, a girl called Chloe whom I meet on Facebook, also from my country of origin. Date her for few times, and suddenly one day she did not reply to my messages nor answer my call. I tried to find out what happen but she ignoring me and I just kind of like move on as this is not the first time I been rejected. Sad right. I feel like a total failure in love and relationship but this time I felt much calmer compared to the first breakups and did not feel sad. This is when I decided that I will not get married or have any children in the future and seriously planning and go ahead with my castration. I found an online therapist who will write me a letter for my orchiectomy. Dr Graham is very friendly and after a few sessions with him, I have my letter for orchiectomy. I found a few castration doctor on the internet. Few of them were in the states, some in Thailand. Mostly these doctor requires at least two letter in order to perform this surgery. Dr Marc from Detroit does not requires letter but I need to travel to USA which cost a lot more money in terms of air fares, accommodation and time spend in USA. Dr Graham recommended his friend in Thailand, Dr Peera for my surgery. More details about the procedure to come in next section.
Pre Castration photo
I contact Dr Peera and he is very helpful. Dr Peera responds to email quite swiftly and sometimes a little late as he is quite busy. I told Dr Peera that I have Dr Graham writing me a letter and would like to organise for the surgery at his clinic in Thailand. Dr Peera emailed me back saying that no problem as he had done this operations countless of times and are happy to accept me for the surgery. My date and surgery is fixed and confirmed on the 4th July 2017, two months after my 31st birthday and the cost for the surgery is $3900 USD. The cost includes one night stay in hospital after the surgery, airport pickup, and medications after the surgery, nurses, theatre booking, general anesthesia and surgeon fees. Return ticket to Thailand cost me $800 and the hotels for 12 nights cost around $450. Overall cost is around $5000. I have people asking me why I am doing it, Am I transgender or transsexual. At this stage I not looking for SRS like other transgender because I not transgender or transsexual to begin with.  

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